Making Peace with Your Inner Critic: Lessons from Parts Work and IFS with Angie Miller
Making Peace with Your Inner Critic:
Lessons from Parts Work and IFS with Angie Miller
By James Porter
At a recent EAPA conference in North Carolina, I sat in on a breakout session led by Angie Miller, LCMHC and Certified Employee Assistance Professional (CEAP). The session was called “Parts Work Made Practical: Internal Family Systems (IFS) Applications in Brief Therapy.” What I didn’t expect was how personal the session would become — and how quickly.
Within the first few minutes, Angie invited all of us to identify a “part” of ourselves that we didn’t particularly like. For me, that was easy: my inner critic. That internal voice that pushes, judges, and sometimes berates me in the name of getting things done. I suspect many of us in the room were nodding silently in recognition.
The Power of Parts Work
Angie explained that Parts Work — the foundation of Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps people break down their inner experience into distinct parts, almost like characters in a play. These parts may have competing motivations, but together, they form a kind of internal ecosystem.
Instead of seeing ourselves as “broken” or defective, Parts Work offers a compassionate reframe: We are fundamentally good at our core, but we all have certain parts that are activated by stress, fear, or past trauma. These parts aren’t bad, but they may have taken on extreme roles to protect us or help us survive.
Angie described how IFS in particular helps clients develop a relationship with these parts. Rather than trying to "get rid" of them, we learn to understand them with compassion, curiosity, and other Self qualities. These qualities, referred to as the 8 C's of Self, include: calmness, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, curiosity, and connectedness.
Befriending the Inner Critic
When Angie asked us to consider what might be “good” about the part we identified, I had to pause. My inner critic can be viciously harsh, whispering that my work isn’t good enough or that I’m not doing enough. But when I dug a little deeper, I realized something important: my inner critic also helps me do good work. It pushes me to strive, to aim higher, to polish and perfect.
This duality is at the heart of Parts Work. Angie reminded us that no part is all bad. Even our most problematic internal voices likely developed to serve a purpose. The inner critic, for example, may have once emerged to protect us from failure or external judgment.
The question becomes: How can we work with this part instead of fighting against it?
Shifting from Judgment to Curiosity
What stood out to me was how Angie encouraged us to meet these parts with curiosity, not criticism. She modeled how therapists can help clients soften toward their parts by asking gentle, open-ended questions like:
- What does this part want for you?
- When does it usually show up?
- How long has it been around?
- What might this part need from you?
In my case, I realized my inner critic often shows up when I’m under pressure. It tries to help by pushing me harder, but its approach can be counterproductive when it tips into self-judgment. Angie suggested that when we notice a part taking over, we can pause and acknowledge it — even thank it for its efforts — before choosing how to respond.
Seeing the Client as Whole
Another key takeaway from Angie’s session was how this model reframes client identity. Clients are not their anxiety. They are not their depression. They are not their anger or avoidance or inner critic. They are whole and good at their core — with parts that sometimes act out of balance.
This shift is subtle but powerful. It encourages self-compassion and helps clients disentangle from overidentifying with a single narrative about themselves, like “I’m just an anxious person” or “I’m too critical.”
Practical Applications in Brief Therapy
As the session was geared toward brief therapy settings, Angie showed how even a short intervention can be impactful. By helping a client name a part and explore its role, clinicians can open the door to more self-awareness and self-compassion.
For example, in an EAP session with limited time, a counselor might say, “It sounds like a very critical part of you is speaking right now. Would it be OK if we got curious about why it’s showing up today?”
Even in a single session, this simple act of acknowledgment can help reduce shame and allow the client to see that their reaction isn’t their entire identity — it’s just a part.
A Personal Takeaway
Leaving Angie’s session, I felt a shift in how I related to my own inner critic. Rather than plotting ways to silence it or wishing it would just go away, I began to think about how to work with it more skillfully. Could I still let it push me to do my best — but without letting it steamroll me with negativity?
IFS and Parts Work aren’t just therapeutic tools; they’re invitations to practice self-compassion and inner dialogue. They remind us that all parts of ourselves — even the difficult ones — have something to teach us.
Sometimes, those lessons begin with a simple question: “What does this part need from me right now?”
Angie Miller is a Globally Renowned Coach who champions the intersection between physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. As a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist, Certified Wellness Coach, International Speaker, Author, and Fitness Expert, Angie blends her expertise to empower audiences worldwide, giving them performance strategies to enhance success.
No matter the organization, Angie believes that a collaborative culture, organizational agility and positive communication are the backbone of a strong team.
Erica Tuminski
Author