A Mother’s Journey: Watching My Son Become a U.S. Marine Part 2
This is a short series about the emotions, stress and anxiety I felt as my son became a U.S. Marine.
Last week, in part 1 of this 2-part series, I wrote about my 17-year-old son Jibrill’s dream of becoming a Marine. Even though it was super stressful for me to give parental permission for him to enter into the recruitment process before he turned 18, this turned out to be a growth experience for both of us. In the last installment, I covered up the point where we sent him off to bootcamp and the emotional roller coaster ride I endured for the first 6 weeks of his 13-week training where we received little or no communication from him.
The Crucible: A Mother’s Greatest Worry
But The Crucible, the final 54-hour test in Marine boot camp, is what worried me the most. Everyone told me he’d be fine, but I couldn’t shake off my anxiety. All the recruits faced extreme conditions throughout bootcamp including heat exhaustion, injuries, and dehydration. One recruit had a heart attack.
Our Marine Parent Facebook group provided updates, while parents shared injuries that happened (to their recruits) throughout the 3 months of training. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about the Crucible. During this test he would essentially be left in a dense forest area where the recruits would be for 54 Hours, hike 48 Miles, wear 45lbs of gear, have 36 Warrior Stations, go through 29 Team Exercises on 6 hours of sleep and have limited MRE’s(Meals Ready to Eat). He had to find his way through over the next 2 ½ days. I knew that Jibrill had the strength and resilience to pass this final test, but as his mom, I desperately wanted to be there to help him. But of course I couldn’t.
I really struggled with my own instincts to want to protect him. And in the absence of being able to do that, I suffered. Luckily, there was a military tradition I took part in that really helped me lower my anxiety. It involved lighting a candle or lantern to symbolize illuminating his way home from the Crucible. I made my lantern and placed it in his room, turned it on and waited for him to complete the final leg of his journey.
The Liberty Call and Family Day
Finally, the call came—Jibrill who was now officially Private Banks, had passed the Crucible and was officially a Marine. He had had his private Eagle, Globe, and Anchor ceremony the day before. Despite the spotty cell-service, we texted, and he excitedly mentioned he was craving milkshakes and other snacks he hadn’t had in 11 weeks. His final letter from boot camp arrived later, filled with reflections on the tough moments he had experienced, but with no regrets. I was beyond proud.
Despite some travel difficulties we encountered driving down from Connecticut to Parris Island, South Carolina, we made it there just in time for Family Day. Watching Jibrill participate in the motivational run was surreal. The early morning air was filled with the sound of cadences and the ringing of bells, signifying each training phase they had completed. I waved like a madwoman when he ran passed me. Afterward, we headed to the parade deck, where the newest Marines were introduced. I’ll never forget seeing 584 young men moving in perfect unison, their movements crisp and precise. The sound alone gave me chills.
After the run, we visited the Parris Island Museum. Jibrill proudly showed us the training video, and I loved looking at the history of the uniforms displayed throughout the years. That was my favorite part of it.
Graduation Day
Rebecca de Jesus
Author