How Problem Solving Can Eliminate Stress

by Erica Tuminski November 07, 2025

How Problem Solving Can Eliminate Stress

By James Porter

Lately I’ve been writing and speaking about problem-solving — mainly that it’s a superior way to manage stress. Out of the mouths of so many stress management experts, I’ve heard the words: “You can’t eliminate stress; you can only manage it.” Well, as it turns out, this old adage isn’t entirely true. A lot of your stress can be eliminated — through problem-solving.

The challenge, of course, is that it’s hardest to solve problems when you’re stressed. When emotions flare, the “emotional brain” — the limbic system — takes over, and the rational “thinking brain” (the prefrontal cortex) gets sidelined. That’s why when you’re angry, anxious, or upset, calm reasoning goes out the window. You can’t think straight because, biologically speaking, your brain has shifted into survival mode.

I had almost reached that stage when I hopped on the Frontier Airlines website to check in about 12 hours before my flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles last Saturday. I had flown out from New York to San Francisco on United and paid the usual fees for our two checked bags — and the carry-on was free. Not so with Frontier. By the time I finished checking in the bags and the carry-on (which wasn’t free) — and discovered that the checked bag limit was 40 pounds instead of the usual 50 — the additional fees had skyrocketed to just over $500 for my wife and me.

I couldn’t believe it. As the anger and outrage grew, I asked myself what I always do when stress levels start to rise: almost like a calming mantra, I repeat to myself (sometimes over and over), How can I solve this? That simple question calms me down enough to get my thinking brain back online.

Just then, a thought popped into my head: How much would it cost to rent a car and drive from San Francisco to Los Angeles? Even though I knew that you can rarely rent a car and drop it off in a different location without paying a hefty relocation fee, I said to myself: Jim, don’t listen to that negative self-talk — it won’t hurt to just check!

I opened up Priceline, and to my delight, Avis was showing a price of $100 to go from SFO to LAX. When I mentioned this idea to my wife (always reach out to others when you’re flummoxed trying to solve a problem), she said that there was an Avis office right in the lobby of our hotel! I had walked by it half a dozen times and never noticed it.

Then I looked up the driving time from San Francisco to Los Angeles — 5 hours and 30 minutes. My wife pointed out that with all the airport waiting and flight delays, we’d probably get to LA at about the same time if we left immediately.

Now the ball was really rolling toward a solution. But again, the negative voice in my head kicked in. It’s Sunday morning at 7:45, I thought. The Avis desk probably doesn’t open until noon. My wife, dealing with her own inner skeptic, said, “Let’s go online and check.” Sure enough — 8:00 AM. Just fifteen minutes away.

My inner critic wasn’t done yet: The price will probably be way higher than Priceline’s quote. But we went downstairs anyway. And there, right next to the Avis counter, the conference we’d been attending was serving one more buffet breakfast — a nice bonus meal we hadn’t even known about before this whole Frontier fiasco began.

I’m mentioning that because it’s remarkable how once you move through that moment where you feel like you can’t solve a problem, the tide starts to turn in your favor.

Within ten minutes of signing the paperwork, Avis had the car waiting for us in the parking lot. My last worry was driving those crazy-steep San Francisco hills and then dealing with LA traffic. But as we pulled out, Google Maps directed us straight across the Bay Bridge — and pretty much the entire route to LA was on “The 5.”

As we cruised south, watching the California hills roll by, the stress of the morning melted away. What started as a situation filled with frustration and helplessness ended up being a reminder that problem-solving isn’t just about fixing things — it’s about reclaiming your calm.

When you ask yourself, “How can I solve this?” you’re not just searching for an answer. You’re shifting control back from your emotional brain to your thinking brain. And once you do that, even the steepest hills — literal or metaphorical — start to feel a lot easier to climb.